Last night I drank the rest of the stash of Oktoberfest beer in my refrigerator left over from October.
I forget my own rules sometimes.
My rule this year is not to bring alcohol into the house unless I have a guest.
When I am home alone, I don’t want to be having a drink.
Oh boy, did I ever break that rule last night.
The good news is that it’s all gone, and I will not replace it.
Why was I drinking the beer?
Well, partly because I had drinks with dinner and got home relatively early.
And it was there.
And I was listening to music.
As I listened, I realized that I have a long way to go as any sort of musical artist.
Some of the creative, innovative, and just plain groovy tunes I heard made me think, “Ugh, why even bother?”
A couple of beers later, I had an answer.
Because nothing else seems to be calling me.
As I continue to learn about astrology as a guide for self-development, I learned about something called the Midheaven.
It’s the MC on your astrological natal chart (which you can get for free at astro.com).
Mine is in the 10th House of Pisces.
That means my public reputation and highest vocational calling are meant to be fluid, compassionate, and deeply intuitive.
Evidently, I am a perfect match for pursuing a calling in fields that involve healing, creative expression, spiritual guidance, or helping others navigate the below-the-surface issues and elements of life.
I was not meant to thrive in a rigid, cold, corporate structure,
and I did not.
I was lucky enough to work for organizations and leaders who had a heart.
Usually.
The biggest takeaway for me is that my calling needs to feel like a mission.
And that is where my whole encore music career idea hits an iceberg.
What is the mission?
Heck if I know, and that is a real problem for me.
Regardless of whether astrology has merit or not, that one piece of insight really resonates with me.
I think that is why I have always seen this as a mission about finding and getting on a Highway to Yeah.
My lesson from the North Node I wrote about yesterday is to lean into this and lead with my heart, making sure to nurture myself (ahem, like not bringing a case of beer home for Oktoberfest again, dude) and trust my intuition.
That is my unique entry point into this encore part of my life.
These things seem essential for getting onto my personal Highway to Yeah.
The universe seems to be acting like Napoleon Dynamite, telling me, as he told Pedro, “Just listen to your heart.”
Exactly. And I am hoping that I learn to do this a bit better through the dreamwork certification course I am currently enrolled in.
It might just happen.
Nurturing myself is important, too.
This morning, I was decluttering old photos and videos.
I came across a snapshot of my body metrics from the app for my bathroom scale, dated this day two years ago.
It surprised me to see that I was at the exact target weight and body fat levels I want to maintain throughout this year and, ideally, for the rest of my life.
Unfortunately, I have let that goal slip in the last month.
Thus, I want to learn to live by my simple rules better.
They are meant to nurture.
However, trusting my intuition is likely the key.
And that is where I must focus.
My hunch is that I will not be able to discern the “calling” that feels like a mission related to music by thinking it through.
It will need to emerge on its own.
In the meantime, I’m going to get something nice to eat and then simply “relax” into my heart and inner knowing.
That’s what Napoleon dynamite did, and all his wildest dreams came true.