A Simpler Time

Yesterday, I received a message to go back to a simpler time.

It came in response to a question I asked during one of the workshop presentations I attended at the Northwest Tarot Symposium. There were several messages that accompanied the reading, but this one stood out as especially significant.

This one simple phrase may have answered a lot of questions for me.

I have a very specific lifestyle design strategy that fits that phrase.

When I hear a simpler time, it brings me back to my one year as an exchange student while in college. This was the year I later used as a model to identify the conditions I want to bring into my life to increase freedom, creative expression, deep human connection, simplicity, learning, beauty, play, and adventure.

The implications of this I still need to work through, but it is absolutely the association I have with that phrase.

The question I was asking was this:

What is my ideal geography for living out my identity, values, and goals?

Asking about my ideal geography signifies several things.

Should I live in one place, two places, or more?

Should I become more nomadic?

And whether it is one, two, or more, what should those places be? It also raises another question:

Do I really need to own a house, or could I simply rent?

This “BiG” question has been consuming a lot of my psychic energy.

Currently, I own a home in the Pacific Northwest and rent an apartment in another city across the country.

My original idea was to split the seasons—summers in the Pacific Northwest and winters in the Southeast. I rented the apartment last year to test the idea. I spent October through the middle of May in the Southeast and have been back in the Pacific Northwest since June.

So, what have I learned so far?

Quite a bit. Here are a few of the biggest takeaways from the experiment.

Owning a home takes a lot more psychic energy than renting.

When I am away from the apartment, I have virtually no worries. When I am away from my home, I worry about the condition of the house and property. I worry about the mail piling up. I wonder whether I left the heat set correctly, or whether it will be enough if a major winter storm rolls through.

Bottom line, it simply creates more worry.

But is it any more than if I were living in the house full time? Probably not Much.

I have also figured out that if I return to the house every couple of months for a while, it resets the worry clock, so to speak. I leave feeling relieved and buy myself another couple of months of free psychic space.

Owning a home also feels more secure.

It stabilizes life. It reinforces an identity as someone who is rooted. It is a place you can always return to, and there is something deeply comforting about that.

Renting an apartment is surprisingly cost-effective if you actually use it.

For example, renting a comparable Airbnb for just one week would cost about the same as one month’s total apartment expenses, including rent, utilities, and parking. That means you begin coming out ahead financially if you live there for more than about one quarter of the year.

However, owning or renting a second place also creates another dynamic.

You naturally feel like you should use it, or else you are throwing money away.

That seems reasonable enough, but I have noticed that people who maintain second homes or apartments for many years often begin to resent them. The second place starts feeling less like an adventure and more like an obligation. Instead of expanding your freedom, it quietly narrows your options because you feel compelled to spend your travel time there.

Renting instead of owning a comparable place is also dramatically less expensive.

By my estimates, it is at least half the cost. And when the lease ends, you simply decide whether to renew or move on. It removes a great deal of complexity from your life.

Renting a luxury apartment gives me almost all the benefits of owning a similar condo, with far fewer headaches.

Could I save money by renting something cheaper? Certainly.

But when I compare this Luxury Year to the years of my younger adult life, when price mattered more than anything else, I realize I lived in some real dumps. I pay more for comfort now, but it has been worth every penny. No regrets there.

Living in a walkable neighborhood has also taught me something.

It dramatically increases convenience, but it also dramatically increases noise.

More importantly, simply living in a walkable neighborhood did not create the kind of social life I imagined.

I thought I would become a regular at my favorite coffee shops, restaurants, and pubs.

The reality has been different.

First, I have health and fitness goals, and eating out or grabbing drinks every day works against those goals.

Second, if I spend all day inside my apartment working on the same projects I would be working on at home, then I might as well be at my house.

What actually matters is participating in activities that naturally draw you into community and create opportunities to interact with other people.

Another fantasy I discovered was the idea that people would constantly come visit me.

I suspect a lot of us fall into this trap.

Retirees and empty nesters do it all the time.

“We still need the extra two or three bedrooms because the kids will visit.”

Well…

How often does that actually happen?

Since I rented the apartment, I have had two visits.

Lee came for about ten days, and we had a great time. My daughter and son-in-law, who live about two hours away, came up for one night, and that was also a lot of fun.

But here’s the realization.

It is just as easy for me to go visit them.

Or we could simply meet somewhere else for an adventure together and rent a hotel room or an Airbnb.

Simple.

Well, that is it for today.

I am sure there will be more updates as I continue to reflect on the other responses I received to this question. But, as I said earlier, this particular message—“go back to a simpler time”—really stood out as one of the keys to answering it.