Authentic Goals

IF YOU ARE LIKE ME, YOU LIKE TO SET AND PURSUE A FEW AUDACIOUS GOALS FOR YOURSELF EACH YEAR. CALL THEM RESOLUTIONS IF YOU LIKE, BUT THE MAIN IDEA IS THAT YOU WANT TO GET FROM THE CURRENT TO A DESIRED OR BETTER FUTURE STATE IN SOME IMPORTANT ASPECT OF YOUR LIFE.

IT IS JANUARY 2025, AND I RECENTLY DID AN ASSESSMENT OF MY 2024 GOAL ATTAINMENT (OR LACK THEREOF). IN THIS ARTICLE, I WANT TO SHARE HOW PURSUING THESE GOALS RELATES TO LIVING AUTHENTICALLY.

I STARTED THE YEAR AWAY ON A TRIP VISITING FAMILY AND FRIENDS, ARRIVING BACK HOME ON JANUARY 22. FOR THE REMAINDER OF THE WINTER QUARTER, I DECIDED TO FOCUS ON THESE 3 GOALS:

1) GET HEALTH AND WELLNESS ROUTINES BACK IN PLACE (15K STEPS/DAY, 6 DAYS/WEEK STRENGTH TRAINING ROUTINE, & <=2000 CALORIES AVERAGE/DAY)

2) WRITE 200 NEW SONGS (BY MID APRIL)

3) PRACTICE GUITAR & REHEARSE EXISTING SONGS THAT I WANT TO PERFORM AND RECORD (30 MINUTE DAILY PRACTICE & REHEARSE 9-12 SONGS/DAY)

HOW DID IT GO PURSUING THESE GOALS?

OVERALL, FOR 2024, PRETTY WELL. I GAVE MYSELF A B+ FOR GOAL ATTAINMENT FOR THE YEAR.

HOWEVER, I STRUGGLED WITH BURNOUT FOR MUCH OF THE YEAR; UPON REFLECTION, I CREATED THE CONDITIONS THAT LED TO BURNOUT STARTING IN THE WINTER QUARTER, AND I WANT TO AVOID THIS IN 2025.

FOR THE FIRST GOAL OF HEALTH AND WELLNESS, I DID MY EXERCISES, ATE BETTER, SLEPT BETTER, AND DID ALMOST 2 MONTHS OF “DRY JANUARY.” AS A RESULT, MY WEIGHT, MUSCLE MASS, AND OTHER HEALTH FACTORS ALL IMPROVED.

I STARTED OFF VERY STRONG ON THE 2ND GOAL OF WRITING NEW SONGS. I WAS WRITING AND RECORDING 2 SCRATCH DEMOS PER DAY. I WANTED TO HIT THE GOAL OF 200 BY MID-APRIL BEFORE MY NEXT PLANNED TRIP.

THAT WAS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN, HOWEVER. I DID THE MATH AND REALIZED I WOULD ONLY BE AT 130 IF I CONTINUED WITH 2 NEW DEMOS EVERY DAY…AND, OH YEAH, I REALIZED I PROBABLY WOULDN’T BE ABLE TO WRITE EVERY DAY.

WHAT TO DO? I DECIDED 100 NEW SONGS BEFORE MID-APRIL WOULD BE SUFFICIENT.

AND YES, THAT’S RIGHT, I ALSO CRANKED PRODUCTION UP TO 4 SONGS PER DAY…

LONG STORY SHORT, I ENDED UP BURNING MYSELF OUT BEFORE THE END OF MARCH AND DID NOT FIND THE ENERGY OR MOTIVATION TO WRITE ANOTHER SONG THE REST OF THE YEAR. THAT SAID, I DID WRITE 80 NEW SONGS, AND SOME ARE PERHAPS THE BEST SONGS I HAVE WRITTEN SO FAR.

I DID PRETTY WELL AT FIRST, TOO, ON THE 3RD GOAL OF PRACTICING, REHEARSING, AND IMPROVING EXISTING SONGS. HOWEVER, AS THE WINTER QUARTER WENT ON, I FOUND MYSELF DOING LESS DAILY PRACTICE OR REHEARSING. IT FELT BURDENSOME, AND I “GAVE UP” THE DAILY RITUAL SOMETIME IN FEBRUARY AND FOCUSED PRIMARILY ON HEALTH AND NEW SONGS.

HMM, GAVE UP OR BURNED OUT? …PERHAPS A PATTERN HAS EMERGED?…

BURNING OUT IS SOMETHING I SEEM TO BE GOOD AT DOING.  

THIS IS A VERY IMPORTANT AUTHENTIC INSIGHT FOR ME TO BRING INTO 2025.

WHAT ELSE DID MY EXPERIENCE PURSUING THESE GOALS TEACH ME ABOUT AUTHENTICITY?

AUTHENTICALLY OUT OF TOUCH WITH REALITY  

PURSUING THESE GOALS SHOWED THAT I REGULARLY DELUDE MYSELF WITH MAGICAL THINKING. I OVERESTIMATE WHAT I CAN DO AND WHAT IS SUSTAINABLE.

PERHAPS YOU CAN RELATE?

IN THE EVENING, I OFTEN SAY TO MYSELF, “YEAH, ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS GET UP AND IMMEDIATELY DO X, Y, AND Z.” AND WHEN THE MORNING COMES…UGH, THE LAST THING IN THE WORLD I WANT TO DO IS X, Y, OR Z!!

OR I HAVE INITIAL SUCCESS, SUCH AS WRITING AND RECORDING 4 DEMOS IN ONE DAY, AND THEN THINK, “OH YEAH, YOU BETCHA! I CAN DO THIS FOR 30 DAYS IN A ROW….I DID IT TODAY, SO IT IS POSSIBLE.”  

IS THIS A PROBLEM?

IT BECOMES A PROBLEM WHEN I HOLD MYSELF TO TRYING TO MEET THESE UNREALISTIC OUTCOMES. AND WHEN I FAIL, I BECOME ANXIOUS AND DEPRESSED, LEADING TO BURNOUT. IT CAN BE A VICIOUS CYCLE.

BEING AUTHENTIC = RECOGNIZING DELUSIONAL THINKING AND GETTING REAL WITH ONESELF.

IT’S A PROCESS.

AUTHENTICITY IS ENCOUNTERED THROUGH ACTION

GOALS ARE FUN FOR ME. MY FAVORITE PART IS SETTING GOALS AND FIGURING OUT HOW TO MEASURE PROGRESS TOWARD THEM. I ALSO ENJOY TRACKING RESULTS. IT IS ENJOYABLE TO MEASURE AND ASSESS HOW THINGS STAND. HAVING A SPECIFIC, MEASURABLE, TIME-BOUND GOAL IS HOW I LIKE TO KEEP TRACK OF WHAT HAS CHANGED.

IT’S FINE TO SET A TARGET AND TRACK PROGRESS, BUT WHAT REALLY MATTERS IS HOW ONE USES ONE’S TIME.

CONSIDER THE GOAL OF WRITING AND RECORDING 200 NEW SCRATCH DEMOS OVER 90 DAYS.

IF I CAN WRITE AND RECORD 2.22 PER DAY, EVERY DAY, THE OUTCOME IS ACHIEVED. BUT TO DO SO REQUIRES A REAL AMOUNT OF HOURS EACH DAY AND TO BE ABLE TO SUSTAIN THAT FOR THE FULL 90 DAYS.

I WAS SPENDING 2-3 HOURS PER DEMO ON AVERAGE, SO 5-6 HOURS PER DAY WOULD DO THE TRICK.

YES, THE GOAL IS POSSIBLE, BUT FOR ME, WHEN ANYTHING BECOMES A DAILY GRIND, BURNOUT IS NOT FAR AWAY.

EVERY DAY HAS 24 HOURS AND EVERY HOUR 60 MINUTES. HOW WE SPEND THIS TIME IS HOW WE SHAPE OUR LIVES.

BUT A MINUTE IS FLEETING, AND ALMOST ANYTHING I DO SEEMS TO TAKE ABOUT 5 MINUTES TO ACCOMPLISH.

IT’S EASY TO THINK 5 MINUTES IS NOT ENOUGH TIME TO DO ANYTHING OF MUCH IMPORTANCE.

CAN YOU WRITE A SONG IN FIVE MINUTES? CAN YOU DO AN EFFECTIVE WORKOUT IN 5 MINUTES?

YOU CAN GET STARTED, AND THAT IS PROBABLY THE MOST VALUABLE THING YOU CAN DO EACH DAY.

ACTION LEADS TO AUTHENTICITY WHEN PURSUING AUDACIOUS GOALS.

UNFORTUNATELY, WE OFTEN DO SOMETHING OF MINIMAL IMPORTANCE IN OUR 5-MINUTE INCREMENTS.

I DID A LOT OF THAT IN 2024. I’D REGULARLY: 1) PLAY A GAME ON MY PHONE, 2) SCROLL THROUGH A SOCIAL MEDIA OR OTHER PHONE APP, OR 3) WATCH SEVERAL ALGORITHMIC SUGGESTIONS FROM YOUTUBE AS I HAD TEA IN THE MORNING.

FRITTERING AWAY OUR TIME WITH THESE ACTIONS IS MOST OFTEN TO EASE BOREDOM OR SEEING THESE DIVERSIONS AS A WAY TO GET IN SOME “DECOMPRESSION TIME.” NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT, IS THERE?

YES, THERE IS A LOT WRONG WITH DOING THAT!! IT IS THE HEART OF THE PROBLEM.

IF IT WERE 30-60 MINUTES PER DAY, THEN SURE, IT’S LESS OF AN ISSUE. BUT IF YOU ARE LIKE ME, THOSE 5 MINUTES INCREMENTS CAN EASILY TURN INTO 10 MINUTES, 15 MINUTES, OR EVEN 2+ HOURS!

TRACK HOW YOU USE YOUR TIME EACH DAY FOR A FEW DAYS AND SEE FOR YOURSELF.

IN DECEMBER, I MUSTERED THE RESOLVE TO GIVE UP THESE 3 DISTRACTIONS. A MONTH INTO IT, I AM HAPPY WITH THE CHANGE AND PROUD OF MY ACCOMPLISHMENT. HOWEVER, THE ITCH TO DISTRACT MYSELF IS NEVER FAR AWAY. I AM AMAZED AT ALL THE LITTLE WAYS I CAN FIND TO DISTRACT MYSELF. YES, I HAVE STOPPED DOING THOSE 3 THINGS, BUT I HAVE OBSERVED HOW I AM ESSENTIALLY ALLOWING OTHER TACTICS TO TAKE THEIR PLACE.

LEARNING TO LIMIT AND ELIMINATE DISTRACTIONS (I.E., EMBRACING BOREDOM) IS ALSO A PROCESS. IT IS A PROCESS THAT WILL AUTHENTICALLY SHOW HOW YOU USE YOUR MOST PRECIOUS RESOURCE: TIME

AUTHENTICITY IS REALIZED THROUGH COMMITMENT 

IN 1999, I READ AN ARTICLE THAT I REBELLED AGAINST THEN AND STILL TRY TO REBEL AGAINST TODAY.

THE AUTHOR PROPOSED THAT PEOPLE CAN GIVE CARE AND ATTENTION TO ONLY 3 THINGS IN THEIR LIVES.

SHE MEANT WE CAN ONLY SUSTAIN 3 MAIN FOCUSES IN OUR LIVES AT ANY GIVEN POINT IN TIME. WE MUST SUSTAIN THOSE FOCUS AREAS FOR A CONSIDERABLE AMOUNT OF TIME TO SEE BENEFITS AND RESULTS.

ONE EXAMPLE SHE GAVE WAS FOCUSING ON: 1) YOUR CAREER, 2) YOUR HEALTH, AND 3) YOUR RELATIONSHIPS. THIS IS SUSTAINABLE, BUT ADD ONE MORE FOCUS AREA, AND YOU WILL BE LESS EFFECTIVE IN ALL 4.

I RECALL THINKING SOMETHING LIKE: “OKAY, SURE, FOR MOST PEOPLE, THAT’S PROBABLY GOOD ADVICE, BUT I AM A DILIGENT, DRIVEN, AND SOMEWHAT SMART AND DISCIPLINED PERSON, SO SURELY I CAN DO 4 OR 5…MAYBE EVEN 6? RIGHT?”

THE ROOT OF MY REBELLION WAS BELIEVING IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE TO FIT MY LIFE AND DESIRES INTO JUST 3 COMPARTMENTS. THIS IS STILL THE CASE, IT’S DIFFICULT TO IMAGINE. I REGULARLY HAVE 8-12 BIG FOCUS AREAS I WANT TO GIVE MY TIME AND ENERGY TOWARDS TO HAVE THE IMPACT AND LIFESTYLE I ENVISION.

NEVERTHELESS, I AM BEGINNING TO AGREE WITH THIS AUTHOR, AND HAVING COMPLETE TIME FREEDOM IS WHY.

TIME FREEDOM IS AUTHENTICALLY A FUNNY THING

WHEN I WAS WORKING AND COMMUTING 70+ HOURS PER WEEK, I USED TO DREAM OF THE TIME FREEDOM I WOULD HAVE AFTER REACHING FIRE. I IMAGINED I WOULD PUT ALL THIS EXTRA TIME INTO PURSUING MY DREAM GOALS AND INTERESTS.

AND TO BE SURE, I HAVE DONE THIS TO A CERTAIN EXTENT, BUT…

AUTHENTICALLY REFLECTING ON HOW I AM USING MY CURRENT TIME FREEDOM, I FIND I AM STILL PRETTY MUCH IN THE SAME BOAT AS WHEN I WAS WORKING FULL-TIME. HONESTLY, I DON’T THINK IT IS MUCH DIFFERENT.

BACK THEN, I HAD A LIST OF 30 THINGS I WANTED TO DO EACH DAY, WEEK, MONTH, OR QUARTER, BUT REALISTICALLY, I WAS, AT BEST, PURSUING NO MORE THAN 5 BIG FOCUS AREAS IN ANY GIVEN WEEK AND REGULARLY DOING SOME OF THESE 5 RATHER POORLY. REGULARLY, I WAS ONLY DOING 3 FAIRLY WELL EACH WEEK.

MY CAREER GOT PRIORITY #1 BECAUSE EVERYTHING ELSE I WANTED TO DO IN LIFE SEEMED TO DEPEND ON IT (I.E., THE MONEY IT PRODUCED). THIS WAS FOLLOWED BY MY GOAL OF ACHIEVING FIRE. AND THEN, I WAS EITHER FOCUSED ON PHD RESEARCH, WRITING SONGS, AND/OR FITNESS WITH ANY REAL GUSTO OR COMMITMENT.

OCCASIONALLY, I WAS ABLE TO FOCUS ON ALL 5 AND MAKE GOOD PROGRESS DURING A WEEK. AND SOME OF THE TIME, I WAS ABLE TO FOCUS ON 4 OUT OF THE 5. MOST OFTEN, ONLY 3 WERE DONE WITH ANY AMOUNT OF QUALITY.

TO MAKE CONFRONTING MY MISPLACED REBELLION AGAINST ONLY 3 EVEN MORE POIGNANT…

WHAT I LEARNED IN 2024 IS THAT I AUTHENTICALLY DON’T LIKE TO HAVE MORE THAN 2 BIG FOCUSES PER DAY!!

BUT YOU HAVE TOTAL TIME FREEDOM, SURELY YOU CAN DO MORE??!! RIGHT??!!

YOU’D THINK SO, BUT I AM NOT SO SURE.

MAYBE I HAVE LOST SOME OF MY DRIVE, OR MAYBE IT IS AN OUTCOME OF BURNOUT, BUT SUCCESS IN 2024 TYPICALLY CAME WHEN I WAS VERY DIALED IN ON ONLY 2 PRIORITIES EACH DAY (DIALED IN = COMMITTED).

FOR MUCH OF THE WINTER QUARTER, IT WAS DAILY SONGWRITING AND FITNESS.

IN THE SPRING, I WENT ON A 2 ½ MONTH ROAD TRIP AND SPENT MORE TIME ON RELATIONSHIPS AND HAVING FUN. AND, YES, THE TRIP WAS FUN AND MEANINGFUL… BUT MY HEALTH AND WELLNESS GOALS GOT OFF TRACK, AND I DIDN’T PUT NEAR AS MUCH TIME INTO MUSIC, EITHER.

IN THE SUMMER, I SHIFTED TO REHEARSING EXISTING SONGS TO PLAY THEM LIVE. AND I GOT BACK ON TRACK WITH FITNESS AND HEALTH GOALS, TOO.

IN THE FALL, I DID ANOTHER 2 ½ MONTH ROAD TRIP, AND I WAS DETERMINED TO ACHIEVE 3 THINGS EACH DAY:

1) MAINTAIN HEALTH AND WELLNESS GOALS

2) MAINTAIN REHEARSAL AND PRACTICE ROUTINES

3) KEEP SPENDING AT A <= 3% WITHDRAWAL RATE FOR THE YEAR

IT WORKED. I DID ALL 3 AND DID THEM WELL, PLUS HAD GREAT FUN VISITING FRIENDS & FAMILY.

WAIT A MINUTE…YOU SAID 2 THINGS PER DAY, NOT 3, AND YOU JUST ADDED RELATIONSHIPS AND HAVING FUN AS TWO MORE FOCUS AREAS, RIGHT? DOES THAT MEAN YOU CAN PURSUE FIVE FOCUS AREAS AT ONE TIME?

NO, I DON’T THINK SO; I THINK 3 IS THE LIMIT AS LONG AS THEY ARE REASONABLE GOALS. HOWEVER, MAKING SUBTLE SHIFTS IN WHAT, WHEN, WHERE, AND HOW YOU LIVE CAN OPEN UP BETTER WAYS OF BEING FOR YOURSELF AND WITH OTHERS.

CHANGING MY ENVIRONMENT ALLOWED ME TO HAVE FUN IN THE SUN WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS. MY ENVIRONMENT AT HOME IS LESS CONDUCIVE TO THIS. I LIVE ALONE AND IN A SOMEWHAT REMOTE AREA. I HAVE TO PUSH MYSELF TO GET OUT AND MEET UP WITH PEOPLE, AND I TYPICALLY DO NOT. (ANOTHER CONTRIBUTION TO BURNOUT).

ADDITIONALLY, I SCALED BACK EXPECTATIONS AND TIME REQUIRED FOR THE 3 THINGS I WAS COMMITTED TO DOING THROUGHOUT THE FALL TRIP. THIS FREED ME UP TO MAKE TIME FOR RELATIONSHIPS AND LEISURE.

HOWEVER, THIS IS DIFFERENT THAN SAYING THESE WERE 2 ADDITIONAL FOCUS AREAS.

BECAUSE THEY WERE “MUST-DO’S,” THERE WAS A SLIGHTLY DISTASTEFUL EFFORT INVOLVED IN DOING THE 3 EACH DAY. THIS IS PARTICULARLY TRUE OF THE HARD TASKS OF FITNESS AND PRACTICING ROUTINES; IT WAS VERY EASY TO FALL INTO THE “I DON’T WANNA” MINDSET OF RESISTANCE.

CONVERSELY, THERE WAS JOY AND ANTICIPATION FOR MAKING TIME FOR RELATIONSHIPS AND FUN. I DIDN’T WAKE EACH DAY WITH THE INTENTION OF SPENDING X # OF HOURS BUILDING RELATIONSHIPS OR PLANNING & ENGAGING IN FUN EXPERIENCES. THE 3 MUST-DO’S WERE THE PRICE I TOLD MYSELF I HAD TO PAY IN ORDER TO ENJOY BEING WITH OTHERS AND HAVING FUN. THAT WORKED.

YES, DOING SO WAS SLIGHTLY DISTASTEFUL, BUT I ALSO GOT JOY AND ENERGY FROM COMPLETING THE 3. BUT I RARELY LOOKED FORWARD TO STARTING AND DOING THEM IN THE SAME WAY AS I DID GETTING TOGETHER WITH LOVED ONES TO HAVE GREAT EXPERIENCES. IT’S A SUBTLE DIFFERENCE BUT IMPORTANT TO RECOGNIZE.

OH, AND AN INSIGHT GLEEMED FROM THIS ANALYSIS IS THAT MAKING TIME FOR RELATIONSHIPS AND HAVING MEANINGFUL & JOYFUL EXPERIENCES MAY BE THE SECRET SAUCE FOR REDUCING THE OCCURRENCE OF BURNOUT.

(NOTE: MAKING TIME FOR MEANINGFUL EXPERIENCES IS VASTLY DIFFERENT FROM DISTRACTING OURSELVES)

AN OPPORTUNITY TO AUTHENTICALLY CHOOSE…

WARREN BUFFETT HAS PROPOSED THAT A KEY TO BEING A GOOD INVESTOR (I.E., IN INDIVIDUAL STOCKS VS. PASSIVE INVESTING IN FUNDS) IS TO IMAGINE YOURSELF AS A SELECTIVE AND COMMITTED BUSINESS OWNER VERSUS A STOCK PICKER/TRADER.

HE RECOMMENDS IMAGINING YOURSELF HOLDING A PUNCH TICKET WITH 20 SLOTS ON IT. THOSE SLOTS REPRESENT “20 RIDES” ON THE STOCK MARKET…FOR YOUR WHOLE LIFE.

HE MEANS THAT YOU SHOULD LIMIT YOURSELF TO ONLY BUYING A STOCK IN A COMPANY THAT YOU KNOW EXTREMELY WELL, ARE A BIG FAN OF, AND YOU ARE COMMITTED TO BEING A BUSINESS OWNER OF FOR A LIFETIME.

FOLLOWING HIS ADVICE YOU WOULD ASK: “WHAT COMPANIES WOULD YOU WANT TO OWN FOR THE NEXT 30+ YEARS?”

AND YOU ONLY HAVE 20 OPPORTUNITIES TO FIGURE THIS OUT. ONCE THE LAST SLOT IS PUNCHED, THAT IS IT.

A BIT OF A STRETCH, BUT TRY TO THINK ABOUT YOUR WEEK IN A SIMILAR WAY.

WHAT IF YOUR WEEK REPRESENTED A SIMILAR PUNCH TICKET?

WHAT IF YOU HAD A CARD THAT ALLOWED ONLY 21 RIDES AT THE AMUSEMENT PARK OF LIFE EACH WEEK? (I.E., 3 FOCUS AREAS PER DAY YOU ARE COMMITTED TO GIVING YOUR TIME, ENERGY, AND ATTENTION).

WHAT IF THE CARD ONLY HAD 14 PUNCHES? (2 FOCUS AREAS PER DAY)

WHAT WOULD YOU GIVE YOURSELF TO FULLY EACH WEEK?  

THIS IS A EXPERIMENT I AM DOING FOR THE NEXT MONTH; WILL LET YOU KNOW HOW IT IS GOING IN FEBRUARY!