Decluttering Personhood
I just returned from a short three-day holiday, and I like to use the day after a trip to catch up on what’s drifted—mostly material and digital clutter.
But it also felt like a good moment to step back and share a bit of the deeper framework behind this blog: the research on personal myths and values that shapes how I think about lifestyle design.
Yesterday, I wrote about how the seeds of an ideal lifestyle can be found by reflecting on the moments in life that spoke to us.
Today, I want to explore something just as important:
What helps—or hinders—our ability to actually live that life?
The answer sits in our personal social psychology—in the story we carry about who we are.
My core research question during my dissertation was:
How do our personal myths and values shape the pursuit of our vocational calling?
That question was inspired in part by Rollo May and his book The Cry For Myth. In it, he describes why myths matter. They:
Help us make sense of life’s deeper mysteries
Create a sense of community
Shape our identity (our sense of personhood)
Form the foundation of our values
My work focused especially on the last two: identity and values.
I also wanted to understand how we come to see ourselves the way we do.
From that, I developed a simple model of personhood—three layers that unfold from birth to the present:
Existential
This is our shared human foundation: mood, will, awareness, imagination, and our connection to the world around us. These qualities are always present, but often underdeveloped or overlooked.
Relative Unconscious
This layer holds our dreams, fantasies, and early conditioning. It’s where our personal myths take shape—often outside of our awareness, but still guiding us.
Character
This is our day-to-day identity: our personality, traits, and the story we consciously tell about who we are.
To explore this, I used several methods in my research.
Participants completed a “felt authenticity” questionnaire to reflect their deeper, lived experience. I conducted life story interviews to uncover recurring themes and values. I also asked them to identify stories—books, movies, myths—that felt connected to their own lives.
Finally, I used tools like the Enneagram and Myers-Briggs to better understand their personality at the character level.
Here’s part of what stood out:
The myths and values that initially led people into their careers were often not the same ones shaping how they experienced their work later.
Over time, they had revised their story.
They integrated earlier beliefs with new ones—creating a more complex, more authentic narrative of who they were and what their work meant.
This is where “decluttering personhood” comes in.
Just as physical clutter creates friction in our external lives, outdated stories and inherited beliefs can create friction internally.
If we want to design a more intentional life, we also have to examine—and sometimes release—the parts of our identity that no longer fit.
This isn’t therapy in the traditional sense.
It’s closer to what Abraham Maslow described as self-actualization: the ongoing process of becoming more fully ourselves; realizing the vast potentials each of us possess.
Or, in simpler terms—clearing space so we can live more freely and authentically.
For now, I’ll leave you with two questions:
What stories have stayed with you over time—books, movies, songs, or myths?
In what ways does your life reflect those stories?