Burnt Out and Behind

Ah, Monday.

They get a bad rap… but I’ll tell you what—they’re great at one thing:

Forcing you to face reality.

And my reality this morning?

Burnt out and behind on just about everything that feels important.

And oddly enough… that makes me a little happy.

I’ve actually had some of the best days of my life on Mondays. There’s something about the reset. The confrontation. The clarity.

Heck, I might’ve even been born on a Monday—so maybe I’m biased.

Either way, I’m choosing to believe this one has potential. We’ll see.

I woke up tired. Needed to sit for a while before doing… anything of substance.

Eventually, I got moving and decided to start with something simple:

A walk.

The long one I wrote about last week—the one out to the coffee shop by the river.

But today, no coffee stop.

Just the walk.

I wanted to know: how long does this walk actually take?

Answer: 1 hour and 5 minutes.

I like that.

A clean, well-spent hour.
One out of twenty-four.

As I walked, I figured I’d land on an idea for this post.

Nothing really came up.

A couple half-formed thoughts from podcasts over the weekend, but honestly?
They felt like someone else’s answers to how to live a good life.

Not mine.

The only question that kept floating back up was this:

What do you actually do with yourself… when you have all the free time you can reasonably expect to have?

Yesterday, I wrote about measuring what matters.

But today, that question feels more fundamental:

What does matter?

Well, if I could only do one thing in a day, it would probably be something related to health.

So… the walk counts.

Great.

But then what?

Well, the default answer is obvious:

You move on to the next thing on your list.

An hour on this.
An hour on that.
Stack it all together and—boom—you’ve got yourself a productive day.

Nice and tidy.

But…

Was it a well-lived day?

Not necessarily.

So today, I’m doing something different.

I’m pulling back a touch and going a little deeper.

Into questions.

Into reflection.
Into recovery.

Because I did decide, and deciding is doing something that matters. 

I decided the most important thing I can do today is check my direction.

Am I still pointed toward my North Star?

Or have I wandered off somewhere along the way?

You know that feeling, right?

It’s like you’re lost in a forest… partly of your own making.

Not totally lost—but not exactly clear on where you are, either.

Or where to go next.

A bit like Bilbo getting separated from the group in Mirkwood.

You can keep moving… but to where?

What did Bilbo do? 

He climbed a tree and peeked out at the sunshine and a butterfly flew towards him. That was all he needed. 

Stopped. Got his bearings. And hope (in the form of the butterfly) returned. 

Here’s something I did hear over the weekend that seems related to this:

Sit in silence for 30 minutes.

That’s it.

No input. No distractions.

What happens?

For most of that time—your mind goes wild.
Thoughts everywhere. Noise. Restlessness.

But somewhere near the end?

Something shifts.

A clearer thought.
A useful insight.
Something you didn’t expect.

And if you do it consistently?

Apparently, your “personal magnetism” increases.

Interesting…might be worth it? 

Of course, the immediate reaction is:

“Yeah, that sounds great… but ain’t nobody got time to sit around doing nothing!!”

And that’s kind of the point.

That’s how we stay…

Burnt out.
Behind.

So that’s where I am today.

Started off a little tired.
A little off.
But paying attention.

Let’s see what happens.

Maybe Monday earns its bad reputation.

Or maybe… it turns into one of those unexpectedly great days.

I’m betting on the second. It’s feeling better already. 

Hope you have one of those, too.