Finding Rivendell

Back in the 2000’s, I re-read The Hobbit. The chapter that really stood out for me was when they arrived in Rivendell.

If you haven’t read the book or seen one of the movies, Rivendell is this beautiful place in the forest, near the Misty Mountains, and sits beside a river and waterfall.

It is sort of like a beautiful campus for Elves.

It is a city but also a sanctuary. It is a place to live but also a place to learn and to make art.

As I read about it, I became very excited and thought to myself, gee, I wish I could go there.

This became one of my top 10 goals before I reached the age of 95.

I wanted to find a “real” world Rivendell.

That led me to put out a message to the universe that I was not happy living in Florida.

It just didn’t suit me, at least living in the city I did. I am sure it is a great place for some people, but not me.

This led me to consider where else I would want to move.

The top location I identified was Seattle.

Within the year, I ended up getting offered a role in the PNW, about 30 miles from Seattle, and that’s where I went.

Looking back, it seems somewhat miraculous that this came about, particularly as quickly as it did. It was a series of unexpected events that helped make that happen.

Thus, there I was, very happy. However, I started to realize that just living in a place does not a Rivendell make.

That got me thinking about investing time and energy into trying to turn the neighborhood into a place like Rivendell.

I soon realized this would be next to impossible.

I didn’t have the time, energy, or enough motivation to throw myself into such an effort, so perhaps I would be better off searching for a place that already existed.

Before I knew it, I was reading this book called What Really Matters: Searching for Wisdom in America. That book blew my mind.

The first chapter is about Richard Alpert, who later became Ram Dass.

I learned about the 1960’s experiments with LSD, which I didn’t have a clue about.

I learned how he was at the center of this counterculture movement with his colleague and friend Timothy Leary while they were professors at Harvard. I also had no clue about this.

And finally, I learned how he eventually decided to take a spiritual path toward enlightenment versus one brought about by psychedelics.

The author stated that he had never used LSD when it was in vogue (1960 to the early 1970s), but he was maybe interested in doing so. He felt like he missed out.

Then he learned about Stanislav Grof’s holotropic breathwork method.

Thus, he decided to attend a workshop to learn how to utilize the method.

As I recall, he didn’t get a lot out of the experience, but many people in the course with him did.

The next chapter in the book was about a guy named Michael Murphy. This chapter really inspired me. I felt a kinship with this Murphy fellow.

I learned how he had “dropped out” to start a human potential center at a property his family owned in Big Sur, CA.

The place was visited by many luminaries in the 1960s after it was formed, and still is today.

People such as Aldous Huxley, Huston Smith, Abraham Maslow, etc., and it had a resident “guru” in Fritz Perls, the creator of Gestalt Therapy.

About the same time I was reading this book, my friend introduced me to her brother.

She thought we would click, as we had similar interests. We did click, although our interests were tangential.

He was getting into Heart Rate Variability (HRV) as a method for healing, resilience, longevity, and personal growth.

He and some partners were working to create an institute, a health clinic of sorts, where CEO’s and other corporate leaders could have their required physical exams conducted and be introduced to this HRV and meditation approach he was studying.

Next thing I know, he was considering going to Esalen to participate in a week-long seminar on Brain Waves and Meditation, conducted by a woman named Anna Wise.

Thinking that sounded interesting, at least to go to Esalen, my now ex-wife and I went with him.

When we arrived, I was told that they didn’t have a regular room for her and me.

Instead, they wanted to know if we were okay being in the “Murphy” suite.

As in the Michael Murphy suite?

Yes, it was in the family’s old house on the property.

It was, and may still be, one of the best accommodations on the property.

It is the top floor of the house, and you have a commanding view of where the forest, cliff, and Pacific Ocean meet.

Beautiful.

Overall, my experience of Esalen was profound.

I realized this was like a “real” world Rivendell.

That started a whole other series of activities on my part.

My friend and I decided that we would explore starting a “city”-based type of Esalen.

We felt that there was a gap in not having such a place available “in town” that you could visit more regularly than a once-every-few-years trip to a retreat center like Esalen.

Luckily, I gave up on that idea. I think I would have felt trapped if I had dived into it before learning about and getting to FIRE.

Fast forward to almost 2015, and I found myself back at Esalen.

The place had changed, and I had changed.

I had a less Romantic idea of the place. It seemed a bit more “orchestrated” and was lacking some of the initial vibes I had found so attractive a decade earlier.

But it was still awesome, and I am sure it still is.

During the middle of the week, our seminar instructor, Russ Hudson, excitedly told the class that a special guest was there and would be giving an impromptu lecture that evening.

It was Dr. Stanislav Grof.

He was getting (or had) approval for experimental studies of the effects of LSD and other psychedelics at the laboratory at Johns Hopkins where he was a professor.

How is that for synchronicity?

I have shared some of this tale in an earlier article, but I wanted to bring it back into the discussion of how one finds and gets on a Highway to Yeah.

If you recall in yesterday’s article, I mentioned that Craig Ballantyne encourages someone who has left their career or just sold a business they built from scratch to really think about where they live and why they live there.

It is the idea of finding your “true” home.

However, I am going to also stick to what I used to call it.

Finding Rivendell.

When you reach FIRE, you have a perfect opportunity to go on your own search for this kind of “utopia.”

Utopia means nowhere, because such a place doesn’t really exist.

There is no perfect place in this world.

But I believe there are great options for you and what you want your life to be about. Do you know what they are?

This post-FIRE search is something I started back in early 2020 and re-started after the pandemic in 2022.

I eventually landed on testing an apartment in a Southeast city I have grown to love.

Now, I am back in my test apartment there and I am still loving it so far.

Is this my Rivendell?

It might be.

I have been out walking through the city, and each time I do, I feel a sense of possibility.

It’s exciting to be here.

However, in two months I might find myself wanting to go back to my forest retreat in the PNW.

Perhaps there is not a single place I want to live year-round?

If I did only live in one place, it would be so that I could simplify my life.

I’ve also considered being completely nomadic, but I don’t think it is for me. I am either a one- or two-home type of person.

Perhaps some people love being completely nomadic, but I bet they are an exception.

It seems most people who take that path have a shelf life. They can only be nomadic for so long, and then they give up on it.

Eventually, they want to set up a home base, at a minimum, from which they can travel out.

However, being completely nomadic is related to the next topic: having a worthwhile quest.

For example, I have considered having a year-long nomadic journey just to do it, and I think that would be a worthwhile quest.

We’ll see if I come back to it, though.

I think I need one home only to make that work, or two apartments versus a home that costs so much to maintain. But I’m not sure.

Right now, even if it were my burning quest, I don’t feel psychologically free to do so.

Which seems weird to say as I write it, but it is the truth.

I feel too tied down to other things in my life.

Regardless, I think there is an opportunity to dig into these questions more.

Where do you (or would you) best thrive?

How do you find your Rivendell and establish your “true” home?

Where you find yourself is surely a determinant of Having Fun in the Sun.

Going out searching for that place is also a great way to explore the Highway to Yeah.