How DO I Get To Happy Again?: Post-FIRE Ignition Factors
How does one find happiness in a post-FIRE lifestyle?
Exactly the right question to be asking at this point.
We’re still in the step of getting in touch with your most authentic self.
Why aim for happiness?
So that you can have a fulfilling post-FIRE lifestyle of experiences aligned with your values.
(Note: If you don’t like the word happy, you can replace it with joy, fulfillment, satisfaction, or such … I am using the term to signify all these states of being.)
To locate your happiness, one thing you could do is develop a list of your top ten values.
Then ask yourself:
“On a scale of 1-10, ten being most, how important is this value to me over the next two to five years?”
Then go back and ask yourself:
“On a scale of 1-10, ten being most, how much am I currently living this value?”
Let’s take my top 10 values as an example:
Value Importance Current Difference
Total Freedom 10 6 4
Authentic Becoming 10 8 2
Creative Expression 10 7 3
Deep Connections 10 2 8
Beauty 10 5 5
Learning 10 9 1
Simplicity 10 5 5
Adventure 10 3 7
Fun 10 3 7
Contribution 8 6 2
One challenge I have with this approach is that all of these values are highly important.
Only Contribution is not a 10 out of 10 in importance.
Although It might become more important later.
Therefore, the gaps are where the big energy is.
If I do things that help close those gaps, while maintaining the other values, then theoretically, I will see my happiness increase.
The biggest gap is with deep Connections, and the 2nd is Adventure and Fun
Another resource I heard about this past week is from a book called The New Retirementality.
In it, the author has a concept he calls Return on Living (ROL) versus focusing just on your ROI on your FIRE portfolio.
He has a similar assessment process, but with categories that are predetermined, versus your top 10 core values.
Interestingly, several of his categories are reflected in my values.
In his system, you use a 1-5 rating.
If you rate it a 4 or 5, then you are thriving in this area.
If you rate it a 1, 2, or 3, then you are lagging.
Here is a current assessment for myself:
Aspect Rating Status
Health 5 Thriving
Relationships 3 Lagging
Residence 3 Lagging
Security 5 Thriving
Learning 5 Thriving
Achievement 5 Thriving
Leisure 3 Lagging
Purpose 4 Thriving
Financial Flexibility 5 Thriving
Autonomy 3 Lagging
He’s referring to how you are spending your money and your time.
You may want to boost the amount of money and time you are putting into a category if it is lagging.
This was helpful for me.
It shows that a part of the reason that my values of Deep Connections, Adventure, and Fun (I am changing Play & Aliveness to this, Fun … that’s all I wanna) are currently not being realized at the level I want is because of my Return on Residence.
I have a great little house in the PNW, but it’s an artist’s retreat.
or at least that’s how I tend to use it.
Thus, I am isolated when I am there.
Last week, I went to see a concert with a friend.
I woke up that morning stressed about the commute.
Literally, I woke up two hours earlier than normal and couldn’t go back to sleep because of this.
Now, I might have done the same even if I were at my apartment, where everything is a 15-minute-or-less walk.
But that would be because I am out of practice socializing.
That’s not a good thing for an introvert who values meaningful socializing.
If I had not been going to meet some friends, I would likely have skipped it.
That would just add to a downward spiral in my ability to live those values.
What to do about this?
I will share some ideas in tomorrow’s article.