July FIRE Metrics That Matter - Part 2: A Vision and Reality
It must be the trees.
I am sitting in the cool shade of the majestic 200-foot-tall trees all around me, and they have an impact.
The past couple of weeks, I have found myself in a contemplative state of mind.
What is this all about?
Why am I doing what I am doing?
Where is this all going?
What actions can I take to right the ship?
It’s been freeing to stop and dwell on these questions. It’s also been an interesting mix of feeling peaceful, having fun, and being energized by engaging with and wrestling through them.
Yet, I also feel restless and unsettled. Things are piling up around me: unfinished tasks, clutter, priorities being deprioritized, etc. Order has left the building with Elvis.
In this sense, I feel like Bilbo Baggins while the dwarves are making a mess of his hobbit hole.
Blunt the knives, bend the forks!
Smash the bottles and burn the corks!
Chip the glasses and crack the plates!
That’s what Bilbo Baggins hates!
From The Hobbit, J.R.R. Tolkien
That said, I don’t care. It will all take care of itself, eventually.
What is at the center of this? I keep coming back to the elements of wood and fire.
You see, at the core, I think a part of my life purpose, or calling, is to act as an architect, a navigator, a pioneer, and, dare I say, even a visionary of sorts.
The element of wood in some parts of Chinese philosophy represents the following:
Growth and expansion: progress and self-improvement. Check. That’s me.
Vision and planning: seeing the big picture and mapping a path to the future. On it!
Altruism and benevolence: a desire to help others grow. I’m all about it.
Flexibility and resilience: strong, rooted, but able to bend without breaking.
Ah, here may be a clue.
Resilience. I have it in abundance.
Flexibility is more nuanced.
In some ways, it’s one of my greatest strengths and skills.
In the OCEAN Five personality factors, I am very high in Openness. I am open to possibilities, open to others’ opinions and perspectives, open to new ideas, open to flexible solutions, and able to connect disparate ideas to develop creative and innovative new approaches.
In other ways, I am at the bottom of the class. My body is tight. I used to fail the sit-and-touch-your-toes part of gym class in grade school. My mind can get tight and rigid, too. I set expectations for myself and don’t want to bend.
And the real reason I think this restlessness is happening is because I am stuck between rootedness and rootlessness.
I like to have a very clear vision, a specific target or goal at which to aim. And it needs to be meaningful. When that isn’t present, I feel a loss of freedom and begin moving toward exhaustion and burnout.
Where is this all going? What progress am I actually making?
The answer, or at least the way forward, seems to be With FIRE.
That is interesting, given that this blog is partly about FIRE—financial independence, recreationally employed (i.e., no longer working for a paycheck, but not retired, either).
I have discussed building a post-FIRE lifestyle. Be careful what you say. I may want to change this to building a FiRE post-FIRE lifestyle.
These FIRE Metrics That Matter updates have been built around my Back On Campus Lifestyle strategy. That has been a central part of the vision. But I feel it needs an update. A remodeling, if you follow.
The core elements are still directionally right. But the work I have done exploring what is at the center of it has caused me to pause and reflect like this.
What I do know is that I crave adventure, play, and aliveness.
And I recognize that I am holding on to the idea that this adventure and play also need to be in service of a clear, meaningful, purposeful vision.
It’s forming.
It may surprise me when it finally emerges.
Therefore, back tomorrow with Part 3 of this series.
Since I will likely not have a new formulation of the vision by then, I will continue to report on the previous categories of the Back On Campus vision:
The Bicycling Class — Health and fitness updates
A Dorm Simple Lifestyle — Simplicity and lifestyle change updates
The Annual Musical Production/Performance — Creative expression, open mic updates, and insights on songs
Dr. Bob’s Self-Actualization Class — Learning, a few updates on the Northwest Tarot Symposium, reading, and insights
Trips With the Gang (Friends & Family) — Adventure and exploration; planned experiences and travel updates
Becoming a Professor of the Highway to Yeah — The search for, and stepping into, vocational callings
Freedom to Live Your Truth — Updates on financial, time, and psychological freedom; insights, changes, and directions
What??
It’s 11:00 a.m. on Thursday already?
And I haven’t even had second breakfast yet!