Psychological Freedom: The Biggest FIRE Challenge You Will Face?
Last night I had a dream that was quite involved.
In one part of it, I was told that I needed to help a roommate clear out all the furniture from our apartment.
That was going to keep me from attending a party.
It was a celebration event being held for me because I was leaving my corporate job.
Even though it was being held in my honor, I didn’t really want to attend.
However, I felt I had to do so …
how do you not turn up for a party that others put on for you?
There you go.
This dream segment had two things I “had to do.”
Says who?
Why did my fictional roommate and I need to remove all the furniture from our apartment?
Evidently the landlord company was reassigning apartments based on factors they thought were important.
I no longer qualified to stay in my apartment because I am not there enough.
And, they decided a family needed it more.
Therefore, my beautiful penthouse corner apartment with a fantastic view was going to be re-assigned to a family that needed and deserved it more than me.
We got everything moved out and piled up in the basement.
And then I was given my new apartment assignment.
It was apartment number 102 or 104.
First floor??
No way, I hate ground floor apartments.
I went and told the landlord team and they got their feelings hurt.
We all just sat around in their office in silence for a bit.
I was stewing but I also felt bad for getting mad at them for doing their jobs.
It was awkward.
Clearly, just from this dream, I struggle with things that impact my psychological freedom.
Perhaps we are all doomed to do this until we move to the next realm?
We will see.
Personally, I struggle with it and am finding it to be one of the biggest challenges of being FIRE.
I mean, it’s silly.
I have total time freedom.
My FIRE resources have completely replaced not only my Bare Necessities but my whole pre-FIRE paycheck (at the level below my last position).
Yet, as in the dream, I still find myself in “I have to” or “I should” situations all the time.
It’s really interesting.
This morning, I was saying a mantra to myself, something to the effect of:
“You’re free dude, you can do whatever you want, don’t let inner anxieties overwhelm you.”
It seems to help.
Pausing and getting in touch with reality is always a good call.
When I was still working, one of my commuter friends was telling me about a guy he knew who won a multi-million dollar lottery.
What did this man do with his money?
One thing he did was rent himself an office that he could commute into each morning.
He’d go in a little later than he had before, but basically would do a similar commute to his new office.
An office he paid for with his lottery winnings …
He’d read the paper.
He’d putz around on some stuff.
It made him feel “normal.”
And, it allowed him to connect and keep the same work schedules as his former colleagues.
He was basically “pretending” to have a job.
On one level, I get it.
People sometimes ask me what I do.
Meaning “what do you do for work?”
Sometimes I answer, “I’m financially independent, I don’t have to work for a paycheck, so I just manage my investments.”
Sometimes they reply back, “Do you like being retired?”
I bristle at this.
Uh, no, I’m not retired, silly.
When did I say that?
“Oh, well then what do you do?”
Great question.
See the dilemma?
I don’t want to “retire” and do nothing.
But, I don’t have anything that seems to be “working out” for how to spend my time, either.
I enjoy music. But to say I am a “singer-songwriter” doesn’t quite fit yet.
“Oh, where can I go see you play?”
Um, er, well, I play a lot of open mics …
I enjoy writing these blog articles.
But to say I am a “blogger” or a “writer” doesn’t quite fit yet, either.
Therefore, it brings me back often to the question:
“What the hell am I really doing with my life?”
Look, I hope this doesn’t come off as complaining.
It’s actually an interesting place to be.
It’s a real opportunity.
Joseph Campbell, the famous comparative mythologist, in a speech he gave at the University of Arkansas in 1972, said that someone who is self-actualized is a “bore.”
A person who has self-actualized has met or is focused on meeting their values of “survival, security, personal relationships, prestige, and self-development.”
This is boring stuff, in Campbell’s view.
These are people who have nothing to live for, he went on to say.
Was he talking about me?
Gulp.
When you’ve reached FIRE, you might want to look in the mirror and see if he was talking about you and the life you’ve built, too.
Ironically, FIRE gives you the chance to do this.
In fact, it pushes you into this kind of self-analysis unless you are one of the “Comfortable Contents.”
Who are the Comfortable Contents?
They are segment of consumers that marketers and advertisers have defined as:
People who have retired from work.
Financially, they have enough. They prefer predictability over luxury.
They are low key and local. Meaning that they have low-cost and simple hobbies.
They avoid far flung travels and YOLO adventures.
They like self-soothing activities, like gardening, reading, cooking at home, and puttering around the house doing little projects, etc.
They balance their autonomy and belonging needs.
They do what they want when they want, with zero guilt.
But they also keep deep, quiet, social connections with a reliable local community.
It this the goal you have for FIRE?
Is it the goal I wanted for FIRE?
Wait a minute? …
Is this the life I have actually been building towards all along?
JEEZ, It might just be …
how did that happen?
Egads, I’ve been Target marketed!!
YES, It is Definitely something to think about as I move forward.
Campbell’s advice was to live fully into a personal myth that grips you.
He said you will give up all the values of self-actualization when you find the thing that seizes you.
“Something that pulls you out of yourself, beyond yourself, beyond all rational patterns,” he went on to say.
Hmm. Wait a minute…
isn’t that what I have been saying I want out of life?
AND, What values am I wanting to stress going forward this year?
Gosh, I’ve been so busy with my checklists, daily habits, and other optimizing schemes, I have forgotten to take a look at them lately.
Here they are again …
Adventure, Play, Beauty, Freedom, and Connection
(see It’s In The Cards: Core Values I Will Embrace …)
So, how’s that going, dude?
Are you out there having adventures?
Are you freely and playfully connecting and taking in the beauty of this world?
Well, I think I was able to keep my withdrawal rate down this month.
Does that count?