There Are 3 Paths You Can Go By: Purpose, Quests, and Lifestyle – Part 1: The Purpose Trap

Perhaps you can relate.

As a young adult, my thinking about work evolved in stages: first, find a job. Then, find a career that fits your interests, personality, and financial needs. And eventually… find your purpose.

That last step took hold of me.

I spent 10–15 years circling the question: What is my purpose? I didn’t question the premise—I assumed I had one singular, important thing I was meant to do. Something that would, in some way, change the world.

It sounds noble. Maybe it is. But it can also become a trap.

I absorbed this idea early on. Messages like JFK’s “ask not what your country can do for you…” shaped how I thought about work. Many of my teachers carried that same spirit, and I internalized it: your work should matter on a big scale.

The problem? It’s a heavy burden.

I remember leaving a seminar on The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, then hearing Ralph Nader on the radio. I was inspired—I wanted to be that kind of force for change. But instead of clarity, I felt stuck.

The goal was too big. Too abstract. I was trying to find one defining purpose that would justify my work and maximize my impact.

So I spun.

To make progress, I turned inward—personality tests, role models, anything that might point the way. And, I became a bit of a personality-quiz junkie. The Myers-Briggs system stuck, and I learned I was an INFJ. type I even read Gandhi’s autobiography after seeing him listed as the same type.

What struck me wasn’t grand purpose—but his focus on small, disciplined, daily choices.

That stayed with me.

Looking back, I think some personalities are more prone to this “purpose trap” than others—but almost everyone encounters it at some point.

Have you?

Do you feel called to something bigger… but find yourself stuck trying to define it?