Why Did I Choose the Student Identity?: A Discourse On Radical Lifestyle Design

Let’s back up a bit.

Isn’t this blog supposed to be about finding and getting on a Highway to Yeah?

Doesn’t this blog focus on achieving FIRE?

Isn’t this blog about creating a radical lifestyle design to fit your post-FIRE vision?

Yes, it is.

Then what the heck is all this dreams, tarot, and identity crap about, dude?

This is a fair question. Let me try to ground it for you.

The Highway to Yeah is a metaphor for living free and easy, particularly after you achieve FIRE. It is really about finding and releasing your inner child. It’s a Yes-saying Philosophy approach to life.

It is also about getting really good at discerning if something is a Hell Yeah.

Conversely, it’s about letting “also-rans” go, or as my mom likes to say, “If in doubt, leave it out.”

That is what I am trying to do by identifying the core identity I want to center my life on for the next couple of years or more. If I figure that out, then the radical lifestyle design that makes sense can emerge more naturally.

You see, for the last 6 years, I have been working, somewhat consciously and somewhat unconsciously, on the dream of becoming a Nomadic Troubadour.

That was the identity that I think Lee and I first assigned to The Leavers.

We were going to hit the road and see the world. We were going to move from town to town and take in the local culture, music scenes, and play our songs for the locals.

It was going to be sort of our version of the YouTube show called S/V Delos.

It’s still a great idea, but it is not a reflection of reality at this point.

It may never be. And that is okay.

What I thought I could do is be on the vanguard as Lee works towards full FIRE.

But honestly, I don’t know how solo musicians and comedians do it.

I Do like driving across the country, but after checking into a new hotel room every night, going to restaurants by myself, sitting with my thoughts, it gets lonely and a little monotonous. I also begin to feel very untethered. And I start to fret about this and that.

and it’s not as If I am getting paid to show up and play somewhere. $$$ Fly out the window.

Maybe it would be better if I took my time, and did more of a Slow travel meandering, but I am just not sure I am cut out for this as a solo adventurer.

For example, yesterday I was thinking, “Hey, why not go up to Bellingham this Sunday through Thursday?”

I could potentially see some friends up that way.

I know of a nice little hotel, nothing to write home about, but it’s comfortable and affordable and near the places I would play.

There is an open mic every night of the week, so I could squeeze in four performances in one shot.

But then I think… “Jeez, dude, that’s going to cost you $1,000 when it is all said and done.”

And my inner Bilbo the Hermit is right.

$400 for the hotel, $500 for food, drink, coffee, gasoline, ferry tickets.

Yeah, pretty close.

Could I squeeze that $500 down?

Sure, but come on, don’t I want to try some of the local restaurants, coffeeshops, and pubs if I am going to do this?

Here’s the deal in a nutshell.

If I am going to be alone, I like being alone at home.

I can still get my 2 open mics in per week to hit the 100 performances this next year goal.

I can save money on gas, food, and lodging.

And, I have made some acquaintance-friends at the local open mics that I like and look forward to seeing again.

Bottom line, I like putting roots down in a place … even if they are tenuous roots.

And that is at the core of the Student identity.

A student is on a quest to not only learn, but also to participate, and then move on.

I made a big mistake pursuing a PhD through a distance-learning program.

What I really wanted was to be back on campus. i love the walkable, compact, high energy environment it creates.

I like the semester system. I like grouping goals into a 3–4 month integrated plan and pushing myself to get across the finish line. Somethng to Aim for and achieve.

And, I like being in contact with people in real life. (Note: Ugh, yuck, puke. …Zoom and such, is just not the same, folks. Our little digital online worlds are killing us, iMO).

But then I like to Ramble on.

It dawned on me this past week that the year I used as the template for a Back On Campus lifestyle strategy was not about one semester. It was about 4 semesters combined.

The first semester was spent on campus in New England.

The second semester was spent in the Mountains at a seasonal job (also a campus environment with dorm simple living).

The third semester was spent on campus near the banks of the Missouri River.

The fourth semester was too, and that was when everything kind of started coming apart. New girlfriends were nice, but the dream was over.

I found myself in the fifth semester back at home and wondering what the hell I was going to do with myself next.

One fun thing I did was to visit Lee in Colorado that summer. His parents had one of the coolest houses I have ever had the chance to stay in for a while.

My new GirlfRIENd was there, too, working as an intern for her Aunt, the Lt. Governor.

I soon learned my new girlfriend had already moved on to her new boyfriend.

Awkward. Yes, it was a hoot.

And I was dealing with feelings of shame and embarrassment of being so transient.

In my college years, I spent 3 years wasting time at a local community college.

Then a semester at a campus in another part of the state.

Then I went on the exchange year. Add 3 more places.

I spent the next year “recuperating” and building up cash to continue to fund my degree. That was the year I also learned to bartend, and kept that job for 3 years.

The next year I was at another campus in another part of the state.(only during the week, I would travel back home to bartend on the weekends to pay for school).

Then I was back in my hometown and started working full-time in my first professional job as I finished up the last 3 classes for graduation at the satellite campus.

And the next year? I was off again, to West Texas to pursue an MBA.

I could keep going here, but you see the pattern, right?

This continued until I arrived where I am now.

From my year in West Texas, I moved another 11 times over a 15-year period.

Job moves, internships, another master’s degree program (which the internships centered around).

I seem to do well with focused time in a geography, and then It’s time to move on.

I want to have a purpose for being in the geography that grounds my reason for being there, too. Belonging to a group or participating in some way (e.g., seasonal employment, like my summer in the Mountains and my internships).

I think I have learned that It’s better for me than just finding a “great place to live” and putting down serious roots.

Hell, I have lived in my current home for over 20 years.

Roots?

Sort of.

But I don’t live here. I hermit here.

There is nothing I have found nearby that I want to be a part of or that draws me in.

But I love my hobbit hole.

It is indeed like living in Hobbiton.

Beautiful, peaceful, but omg, boring and lacking the adventure I crave.

Thus, how do I release my inner child?

I’ll keep going in the next few articles about what I am discovering about how I might do this.