Accepting Limitations: The Perfect Day & Making Time For Joy
Let’s do a quick inventory of how we spend our days, shall we?
In my pre-FIRE life, I was up at 4am. I either read or watched YouTube as I “woke up” and had a cup of coffee.
It dawned on me one day while doing this that I was a bit like the father of Ben Hamper, the author of Riveted: Tales from the Assembly Line.
It’s been a while since I read that book, but if I recall correctly, he described waking up at 4am or so, coming into the kitchen, and watching his father throw back a six-pack of beer before he went to the plant for his shift.
The message he took away was something like, “Jeez, I hope that isn’t a glimpse of my future.”
But alas, it was, just with more illicit drugs involved than alcohol.
Caffeine is a minor drug compared to a six-pack of beer before work.
but the “bracing for the day” ritual was eerily similar, I realized.
Not to bore you with more details, but I got ready and was out the door by 6am.
I commuted for 1.5 hours or more, usually working part of the way.
I worked in the office until 4:45pm, commuted back home, working part of the way, and was back home at about 7pm.
Then I cooked dinner, ate, numbed myself out with more YouTube, or had to do additional work tasks.
I was in bed by 10pm, and then I would repeat it.
Five days per week.
At night, I was so tense that I often would wake up two or more times in the middle of the night. I still do this six years after leaving that grueling schedule.
And if I woke at 3am or later, forget about going back to sleep.
The daily “bracing” process Would just start earlier that day.
Today, I am bringing this back up, as I have written about it in earlier articles, because I am seriously trying to figure out how to have the best and most peaceful day I can in the coming year and beyond.
I want to put a focus on living my values ahead of any vocational pursuit.
I want my days to be full of ease and joy.
I want to embrace my “student” identity as described earlier (see either 7 is a Magic Number or Why Did I Choose The Student Identity articles).
To get started, I asked Gemini AI how I might design the perfect day.
Here was the advice:
7:00am — Rise slowly and capture my dreams and journal if I like.
7:30am — Have a morning routine, include coffee or tea, listen to a song, and get in touch with my inner child.
8:30am — Check my calendar and pick two priorities for the day.
9:00am — Focus on learning a new skill, work slowly and deliberately, and make it tangible and practical.
12:00pm — Avoid screens, but eat a healthy, satisfying lunch. Be present. Be grateful.
1:00pm — Handle email, errands, quick tasks, and chores. Treat it like a playful dance.
4:00pm — Do something just for the fun of it, reach out to a friend, or spend time in nature taking in the beauty.
6:30pm — Cook a nourishing dinner, celebrate what I achieved in the day, and feel the luxury of being content.
8:30pm — Tidy up my space, let go of unfinished tasks, and trust that tomorrow is another day.
9:30pm — Get in bed, read a book, reflect on how my body feels, and drift off to sleep.
Well, well, well.
I’m not sure what to say.
That’s quite the day, right?
Does anyone actually live their life this way?
What if everyone lived this way?
Would I really want to live this way?
Can I really have a joyful and meaningful life living this way?
What about the things I have already committed to doing each day?
What about the things I think I probably want to do each day or week?
Just let some of them go?
As usual, folks, I don’t know.
Here’s what I do know.
I seem to have painted myself into a corner by carrying forward pre-FIRE habits, motivations, and ambitions into my post-FIRE life.
Old habits, even good ones, are hard to break.
I rarely make time for pure fun or connections.
ThEse are difficult for me.
I always put “productivity” and discipline ahead of it.
First of all, what the heck is “fun,” anyway?
I struggle here.
I am not sure I know what is fun or merely “distracting” myself anymore.
And second of all, who is it I am connecting with and why?
I also struggle here, even more so.
I like to, but dang, Whose Got the time …and again, why?
“Singing the Introverted Blues” …wasn’t that a Bob Dylan song?
I keep thinking I have something that I can do that will make a difference, but I am not sure just what the heck that is.
This leads to Me wanting to put vocational pursuit over values.
It gets me back into the tension of Pursuing a “professor on a highway to yeah” path versus a “troubadour” Path.
And, if I follow Derek Sivers’ philosophy of the “neutral exchange of value,” this leads me to saying: “Reject the troubadour, dude, there’s no money there … and face it, Prince you are not.”
the intense and learned habit of focusing on vocation above all other pursuits keeps me from embracing the student identity that I think is going to be most beneficial in the next chapter of life.
Nevertheless, whatever I do or whatever “perfect day” schedule I put in place, I am pretty sure I will keep coming back to the question of:
“Just what the heck am I doing with The rest of this one big, beautiful life?”
Well, I don’t know the answer to that either.
But I will keep going, and maybe you’ll get to read about how I decide to do all this.
We will see.