Going Further Than The Middle
In the recent post called Authentic Goals, (John) shared how I approached goal setting in 2024, what I learned, and what I want to do different in 2025
I kicked off 2024 pursuing 3 audacious goals. One of those goals was getting my health and wellness routines back in place following a 4 month road trip. I FAILED TO KEEP UP MY USUAL EXERCISE AND DIET DISCIPLINES ON THE ROAD TRIP. As a result, I gained weight I WANTED TO DROP AND build back strength and capacity.
As part of getting health and wellness routines back in place, I also decided to try going on a “12-Hour Walk.” This idea is the basis of a book by Colin O’Brady.
The idea for a 12-Hour Walk germinated when he walked across Antarctica, pulling a sled of supplies behind him. He had 54 days to do it. to accomplish his mission, he had to walk 12 hours per day to get to his destination.
O’Brady enjoyed AND SUFFERED the silence of his thoughts in that bleak environment. the daily walks gave him clarity on what really matters. They gave him a “possible mindset.”
O’Brady said the lack of technology (i.e., screens and distractions) was a big part of the transformative experience. He believes this is a critical aspect of doing a 12-Hour Walk.
O’Brady claims these walks can help you discover what has been holding you back from living the life you want. They can help you figure out how to overcome a major life challenge. They can help you gain the motivation and clarity you need to make a life-altering decision. they can help you make better decisions aligned with your gut and heart.
His website has an invitation Where you can sign up to do a 12-Hour Walk in unison with him and others on certain days throughout the year. Ironically, he also has an app you can use to join the community. However, the website gives clear instructions on how to utilize it and not be distracted by your phone during the walk.
Here is the link to his website:
Did I do the 12-Hour Walks?
The short answer is no.
The longer answer is yes, at least I tried, somewhat.
It was the end of January before I had time to available to try one. Thinking through logistics, I remembered there are only 8-9 hours of daylight in the PNW during the winter months.
Thus, I ADJUSTED THE GOAL DOWN TO “6-Hour Walks” and decided I wanted to do 2 or 3 of these per week. I figured this would produce significant health benefits and some of O’Brady’s results, too.
I did 3 of these per week for a couple of weeks. Then I dropped to 2 per week. By week four, I dropped to only one and then stopped after that week. I ended up burning myself out on this goal. It was too much, and I was letting my other goals slide as a result.
It was not wasted time, and it did help me get my regular exercise practices back in place. After I stopped doing the 6-Hour Walks, it was easy to maintain an average of 15k steps per day for the rest of the Winter quarter.
Unfortunately, I missed the main point of doing a 6-12 hour walk…
I took my phone with me on the walks, and that ended up being a problem. I measure steps using the Health app on the iPhone and use the Notes app to capture ideas and inspirations. O’Brady recommends putting your phone on airplane mode. I could have done this but didn’t. I thought I was disciplined Enough to avoid constantly checking and responding to text messages, email, or getting on social media.
However, I spent half of those 6 hours listening to podcasts. And I am pretty sure I ended up texting with people, too. And I probably listened to music for some of the walk time.
After attempting to do a 6-HOUR WALK, LET ALONE A 12-HOUR WALK, I am convinced the main point is to “face” and “experience” yourself with as few distractions as possible!!
12 waking Hours is equivalent to a day of living, and we tend to fill that time up with “things we do.”
Think about it this way. There are 24 hours per day. It’s recommended we sleep 8 of those hours each day, so we have 16 or less waking hours left. If you are like me, you need time before bed and after waking to “adjust” to the change. My adjustment times tend to last a minimum of 1 hour, often 2 hours. So, let’s say 14 hours a day of awake time.
But do we have 14 uninterrupted hours to spend as we see fit? I am not sure.
Unless fasting, I assume most of us eat at least once per day. I do intermittent fasting, so I eat 1 or 2 times per day with no snacking before, after, or between meals. Many people eat 3 times a day and take a break for a snack 1 or 2 times per day. Regardless, I spend at least 1 hour cooking and eating each day. So now we are down to 13 hours.
Let’s give 1 of those hours for personal hygiene and breaks.
Bam! We’re at 12 Hours.
Now imagine walking with no distractions and contemplating your life for those 12 hours. That is the main idea, and I failed!
When I was listening to podcasts, reading and responding to texts, or listening to music, I was filling my head up with other people’s thoughts and ideas and not listening to my quiet inner voice.
When I did “listen” to my thoughts, some interesting things happened.
One day, I contemplated my past life, conceptualizing it in 5-year increments. For each 5 year increment, I identified the 5 most consequential things that happened.
Now, I’ve been alive a good long time, but to see my life summarized in such a way was Somewhat surreal. It was humbling, disconcerting, and inspirational.
There were AMAZING ITEMS ON THE LIST, BUT IT ALSO SEEMED a very short list, given that it represented my life to date. I also recognized that unless I live an exceptionally long time, at best, the list will only double. That fortified my desire to ensure I am living the life I envision and value.
During parts of the walk, I meditated on life challenges and what to do about them.
The biggest challenge I was facing then and today was how I spend my time and what I spend it doing.
Search For The Perfect Day
Essentially, at the beginning of 2024, I was searching for a “Perfect Day” recipe.
But I have been trying to figure this out since the early 2000’s, when I did a self-development exercise in which you describe your perfect day.
Back then, that exercise felt like writing fantasy. None of my perfect day description had anything to do with my employment…the very thing on which I was spending close to 65% of my waking hours!
Post-FIRE, I am realizing that being employed full-TIME (INCLUDING SELF-EMPLOYMENT, OWNING A BUSINESS, DOING NON-PROFIT VOLUNTEERING, ETC..) is one of the best ways to “eat up your time” so you don’t have to confront your freedom of choice in what you do each day.
“Working” in all its forms allows you to let those decisions be mostly decided for you because of THE natural work responsibilities that flow from it.
Perhaps the work you choose to do, beyond the need for a paycheck, would be included in your description of a “Perfect Day, " “ but I would advise you to give that more consideration. Is it really or is it mostly a way to avoid making a “real” choice on what you do with your time?
Spending time thinking about your “perfect day” may be helpful. Post-FIRE, what matters most for me is getting started and leveraging momentum.
The hardest thing I do every day is “getting started” on something. It rarely matters what it is, I don’t want to do it.
And I don’t have to do it either. So there! F’ Off, I’m FIRE!
My inner toddler takes over.
I kid, somewhat, but yeah, it is hard to start something (and even harder to finish, but that is a topic for a future article). I usually do get started, but the resistance to startING is almost alwAYs there.
There are exceptions to not wanting to start something. Eating is a big exception…but if I have to cook to eat, well, the “I Don’t Wanna’s” can also show up. Sleeping is sometimes an exception, too, but I often fight going to sleep, or I fight getting up.
Having “fun” is the another exception…if given a choice to do something difficult versus something enjoyable, like going to a movie (plus getting popcorn and soda!), I often want to go to the movie.
I thought it would BE fun to go on a 12-Hour Walk. I was excited the first couple of times I did the 6-Hour Walks, and yet I quickly found myself utilizing distractions through at least half of every walk, thus missing the ultimate purpose and benefit OF doing the walks.
Just as it is hard to get started, embracing doing nothing is probably harder.
Fun or Distraction?
So what is truly fun versus just a distraction?
This is a similar question to what is included in your description of a perfect day.
Would you describe a perfect day as spending 10-12 hours working in a job that you must hold so you can pay your bills?
Perhaps you would. Perhaps the work is part of your perfect day because it’s tied to your values, provides a meaningful good for your community, and is tied to the identity you want to craft for yourself. It’s not impossible, but it is not easy,
And just as we can confuse having fun with simply distracting ourselves, I think we can delude ourselves BY saying that our work is part of a perfect day, particularly if we must work for pay.
My biggest career regret is the decision I made to follow the money versus staying true to the path I had set for myself. Luckily, I still have time to make up for this, but I better hurry.
For myself, real fun occurs when I am doing something with people I care about and enjoy spending time with. Real fun also occurs when I purposively decide to do something I have WANTED to do and finally make the time TO DO it. Real fun occurs when I have completed something that requireS MY FULL ATTENTION AND APPLICATION OF MY SKILLS AND ABILITIES (E.G., when I get into a flow state).
A distraction posing as fun is when I use something, typically something with a screen, to fill up my time. A distraction, POISING AS FUN, can be when I accept an invitation to do something I only do out of a sense of obligation or such.
Beyond Average
What to make of all this I am sharing with you?
First, I propose we (or least I) need to get real about what it means to “have fun” and start doing it more. This will help create a “perfect day.”
Second, you are better off doing nothing if you want to discover what is truly fun.
Third, what you “really” want to do is inside you if you listen. You will hear it as you get rid of distractions you use to numb yourself and pull your attention to someone else’s agenda.
Fourth, you may still have time to start following your inner guidance…
but you better get started.
One thing that came out of the experiment of doing 6-Hour Walks, which scratched my “fun” itch, was a song I wrote. It’s a song inspired by the walks. It has provided me with a lot of joy. It has been fun to listen to it AND RELEARN IT, AND IT will be fun TO re-record and play it live for an audience.
The song is called Further Than The Middle.
the song is still under development, but for now, here are the current lyricS:
Further Than The Middle
Down the wrong path, caught up to correct the problem
From your circadian to the seasonal
Pulling out the earbuds and listening for Mochi litter
Where you start depends on where you have come from
But I like to go further than the middle
When we’re dealing with small differences
All I need is a bright, dedicated staff
So that I can go on my 12 hour walks
Candle light creates a more delicate mood
The coaster under my drink underscores that we are melting faster
Chocolate-covered Honey Frogs you’ve enabled, what a disaster
My beer-stained green sleeves of bamboo are shimmering naked
Because I like to go further than the middle
When we’re dealing with small differences
All I need is a bright, dedicated staff
So that I can go on my 12 hour walks
Walk walk walk walk walk walk walk walk
Talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk
Tiki Gods labor to cut their own umbrellas
They’re stuck in a globe admired by Sgt Pepper originators
My green sleeves fall short, so I hide them under the table
Tip back my bottle, and I drink it from the inside out, and then I
Walk walk walk walk walk walk walk
Talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk
Walk walk walk walk walk walk walk
Talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk
Cause I like to go further than the middle
When we’re dealing with small differences, so let’s
Walk walk walk walk, talk talk talk talk
Walk walk walk walk walk walk walk walk
Then, let’s talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk talk
Walk walk walk walk walk walk walk
Talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk
Walk walk walk walk walk walk walk
Cause I like to go further than the middle,
When we’re dealing with these small differences